The hope was that Atlanta would be like this magical space where the uneasiness in my heart and soul would disappear and where my confidence level would begin to rise again. I hoped that it would wipe away everything that was back home. Let's see how that worked out...
The night before my Candler visit, I got a solid 3 hours of sleep. Boo!
And when I got to Emory's campus I was all kinds of turned around. I missed the door to the Admissions Office, lost my parking ticket, couldn't find the elevator. Ahhh!
HOT.MESS.
But when I finally got settled into our Meet & Greet time, one of the first things Candler's Associate Director of Admissions said was, "We do messy here. Messy is OK." I remember smiling and exhaling.
Then I came to Gammon, after spending 4o minutes in traffic and running late.
Same old story.
But through out the entire day, I kept hearing, "we want you," "we claim you," "Come back, you're more than welcome!"
That warmed every inch of my being.
In various moments, Atlanta has done the job I had intended it to: When I'm out eating pizza with my brothers(or tacos or burgers); when I'm trying dominate ATL's death trap...err I mean freeway; or when I'm meeting new & lovely people at these schools.
The visits I've made this week have reminded me that you don't have to be fully put together, have your ducks in a row if you will, in order to be worth something. It's in those "messy" moments that you realize just how much others care and how they understand what it feels like. These are the times that strength emerges and you can grow more fully into the person you were created to be.
And though they're hard times, trying times, there's undeniable beauty in them that sometimes only others can see (and I'm beyond grateful for the one who saw it in me today.)
Embrace that messiness. Use that messiness to fuel your journey forward.
We're ALL messy.
And we're ALL wanted and claimed.
As for the rest of my time in HotLanta, well that's reserved for my brothers :)
I'll be posting about each school later next week, so keep an eye out!
Seminary Tour 2012
I'm back up and running from Columbus, Ohio! Click for some "fun facts" ;)
This is actually really profound.
ReplyDeleteGood work, Amy. Great post!
ReplyDeleteI'm super happy to hear Atlanta is STILL a hot mess. And I'm slightly disappointed I didn't instill in you a love for the right taco place in that city ;-) Can't wait to hear more!
ReplyDeleteAmy we hope you were engaged at Gammon today especially in the midst of our heated Missiology discussion (you and Clement sat in front of me...I was the vocal guy...lol). Nevertheless, you are indeed welcomed to Gammon! Enjoy your journey around the UMC seminaries and may God reveal God's self to you as you explore your calling. Be well, safe, and enjoy!
ReplyDelete