And She's Back!

Man, it's been a long time, huh?
6+ months and here we are again.
First, let me give you a little update on what's been going on:

I graduated!
Holy FREAKING moly.
It was such an amazingly profound moment in my life, as it is with anyone who makes that step forward. For me, it went past the general reasons.
I chose not to walk in my graduation.
And if you know me, I LOVE pomp and circumstance so it's a little strange that I wouldn't want to participate in this.
First, Ohio State is big.
There are so many of us at our commencement that we don't really walk or even have our names called individually, we're called by schools.

 And even though the President of, you know, the UNITED STATES was the speaker (regardless of your political views, you have to admit, that's kind of really cool!) there was something inside of me that was really pushing against making too big of a deal of this graduation.
Let me explain to you all why.

I got a lot of grief for this, actually.
People telling me that I'll regret not partaking in the ceremony and that even if I didn't do it for myself that I should do it for my family and my loved ones, blah blah blah.
That's all well and good, but the main thing on my mind during the graduation season was my adoption.
Let's pause here and rewind 22-ish years so I can explain that one...

Adoption cake!

I was adopted at 18 months old from Honduras, a third-world country, poverty stricken and violence prone.
[Amy Fun Fact: I was born in the murder capital of the world...scary!]
Long story short, my biological mother was young, poor, and unable to care for me and so she made the choice to offer another family an opportunity to care for me better than she would have been able to.
The Wills Family and I chose each other and we have lived happily ever after :)

Michael, me, Jeffrey, Mom, & Dad!

 Fast-forwarding to now.
It was a very humbling accomplishment to not only attend college in the first place, but to then graduate with a degree in which I spent a majority of my time studying my native Latino culture.
And as much as I whined and complained about the work load and the stress that came with it, it is the greatest thing I have ever done because it wasn't only for me but to fulfill a dream of another.

This piece of paper is because of the sacrifice of a mother who selflessly gave up her daughter with the hopes that she could accomplish things that she herself would never be able to do.
And I did.
And that's just beyond amazing.

So that's why I didn't walk.
I didn't need the recognition or the ceremony, it just didn't feel appropriate.
All I needed was my family (and some really yummy cake!) :)

Graduation cake!...are you noticing a theme here?

So what have I been up to post-graduation?
A LOT.
I have started working for an event planner here in Columbus, Emily's Events Etc., LLC.
Emily plans about 70% of the bar/bat mitzvahs here for the Jewish community and takes on numerous weddings each year.
On top of all of that, we have a store on Etsy where we sell original, custom invitations for just about every kind of party/life event there is.
Seriously.
I have learned SO much in such a short time and I am beyond thankful for Emily's mentorship and patience (I can't cut a straight line with a paper cutter to save my life, yet!)

We joke that we live in the future.
Seriously, right now, at the beginning of October 2013, we are planning for events in November 2014...
Weekends don't really exist and 9-10 hour days are pretty average.
But hear me when I say, I completely ADORE my job.

We plan for happy and celebratory moments.
We plan for potential disasters at said events and always have back-up plans, just in case.
We plan for people who don't know how to plan for themselves and keep them calm and sane.
And in the mean time, we have to maintain our own sanity.
(Did I mention Emily has a family of 5, too?!--she really does deserve to be initiated into Sainthood.)
And if you are to really think about it, planning weddings, mitzvahs and everything else is actually the easy part. Well...easier.
It's life that's the tricky one.

You really can't plan around much when it comes to your own life, ya know?
You can't make your plans around somebody else's wants or dreams for their own life and you can't even plan around what you think the plan is for your own life.
I've learned this the hard way over the past couple of months and it has emotionally drained me.
My well has been dry and I've been trying my best to work through the different feelings that we all can experience when things don't work out as planned:

Sadness

Disappointment

Regret

Worthlessness

Inadequacy

Helplessness

It's so easy to get stuck inside of those feelings and to even get comfortable there.
But that's just so miserable, and we're not meant to live like that.

I was talking with a new friend the other night and while we were sitting on the porch, drinking a glass of wine and watching the rain pour down, we were reminded just how awesome it is that there is someone that knows the plans for our lives.
Someone who knows exactly what we need, when we need it and how to manifest those needs.
It's someone who wants nothing but the best for us.
And the most awesome part of this is that we don't have to worry about making "the plan" or following "the plan" because He has already made for us.
All we have to do is be willing to listen and surrender our hearts to where we're called to be.
Think about it....
God is pretty awesome.

Nice segue into the concept of calling, huh?
I know a lot of people are perplexed, concerned, thrilled, relieved, and everything in between about the fact that I have decided against seminary for the time being.
Some may say it's the wrong decision because they think I should be in ministry; on the other hand there are those who have scratched their heads whenever I said that was "the plan" for my life in the first place.
(This might sound like I think people are more interested in me than they probably are, but these are actual reactions and conversations I've had with people...)
Either way, here's the thing:
You cannot out run a call.
I'm 100% convinced.
If God wants you there, you'll make it there.
Seminary has never been "off the table" and I've never shut the door on it being an option.
If I would have moved forward with it, it would have been for all the wrong reasons and that would have been terrible.
For now, I am extremely confident in the decision that I have made to follow my heart.
And I am happy.

So what's the future of the 2012 Seminary Tour? (I really need to reconsider the name of this now considering 2013 is almost over...ha ha!)
I have the most supportive parents in the world who believe in the importance of this tour and have been encouraging me to finish.
I have also been blessed with a personal cheerleader in Nick Works from Wesley Theological who sends me encouraging emails from time to time, always filled with curiosity, wisdom, and support.
So I'll complete this journey.
Three more schools, but definitely not in three more months.... (seriously, I should post a picture of my calendar. Insanity.)
But I'll do it.
Just keep an eye out!
Also, if there are ever any further questions anyone might have about the schools I have been to, don't hesitate to ask- that's the point of this thing!

Blessings, peace and so much joy to all of you!